The Plan

I knew this pain was going to come 

Before we even parted 

I felt it the first time we had to share

Share something that is ours

But now not together

How do you accept this

When THIS wasn’t supposed to happen

When seeing your child whenever you want, is not possible

Because seeing your child is now on a schedule…

I can’t even understand the line above

Sharing wasn’t the plan

The first time we separated our child was a baby

Each time he left my arms my home was empty,

I would pace 

Back and forth

Like a caged lioness

Knowing she should be with her cub

I still feel the same 12 years later

Nothing has changed

Except that you are older now and aware

My sweet child

This wasn’t the plan I had for you

When you are here my heart is settled

When you are away my mind scatters

My fear heightens 

My worry deepens

Even though I know these are just feelings

You are fine.

You are safe.

You are loved wherever you go

You are strong

You are a warrior

Just like your parents

This will get easier

And we will grow from all of this hardship

My wish is for us to land on our feet

And to trust that all will be well

The plan took a different route

But the end will be just as glorious

Because I will grow with you

And my sweet boy, you will grow with me.

2 thoughts on “The Plan

Add yours

  1. You’ve got this, you always have. The journey isn’t always easy but you’ve always been a warrior ❤️

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