I am a Self-Help Junkie.

Surprising…. I know!

If you were to look at my book shelf, I probably own more than 50 inspirational books on how to be a better me.

My quick fix for most of my problems, whether it be drinking, my marriage, parenting, my weight, finances or how to keep a clean house, is to head to the bookstore and find the newest best seller on the topic.

I come home and read, put the book down and continue on.

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Sometimes I take in what they have said.  But my retention is short lived.  Hence why I have so many books! And I think if I bring one more book home my husband may burn it!

So, I have decided to try something else.

I am going to take my self help out of isolation.

Instead of bringing the books into my home, I have decided to take myself to where the help may be.

I am going to go out into the world and find what it is that seems to either be missing or not sticking in my life.

This feeling/idea/thought came to me one day when I was in my local wellness store.

I have wandered in a few times since it opened and I instantly felt like I wanted to stay.

I didn’t feel like I belonged… but I felt like I wanted to try to belong…if that makes sense.

I wanted to stay even though I felt uncomfortable.

And I think the reason why I wanted to stay was because I knew that what was going on in that store was something that I had never tried before…. And they do things that I think are kinda hokey, but for some reason, the energy of the place made me know that something right and good was going on.

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The first time I visited, about 8 months ago, I opened up to one of the women working there and told her a little bit about what I was struggling with, and that I hadn’t taken a drink in 182 days.  I didn’t spill all my beans, but just opening up to a complete stranger who works in the wellness industry felt good.  I even felt a little bit hopeful as she listened and offered encouragement.  She let me know that her road to wellness had also been bumpy, and as she spoke her words felt like a balm on my wounds. And although she didn’t have the answers, she seemed to have the training and ability to help me find them.

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But I left, and felt vulnerable and a bit scared to go back… although I am not too sure why.

I have driven by the store often and never went back in.

Probably because I always feel like I can take care of my own problems.  I have probably bought 10 self-help book since I had first gone in!

But even with all the reading I do, I did slip.  I did drink.  I did feel like shit again.

So last week, I went back in.

I felt the same good feelings I had originally felt.

The same lady was there, and she remembered me.

We spoke and she let me know about some events they were holding.

She wasn’t pushy, she just put it out there.

I decided to sign up for 3.

Yes 3.

One is tonight.  It is a vision board workshop. I wasn’t too sure about this one because I am not creative when it comes to crafts, and I remember doing vision boards back in high school and for me it felt like a waste of time. I said this to her, and she explained that the workshop would be for 3 hours and before we actually start the vision board she will be guiding us through a meditation session and then some reflective journaling– SOLD!  Meditation is something I want to try and learn more about, and well journaling is just my favorite!  So, I will see what kind of board pops out of me after that 😊

vision board

I also joined their book club and a 6-week course on creating the life I desire! This course was a little more expensive, but then I thought about how much I used to spend at the liquor store in a week without flinching. This is money much better spent!  I am looking forward to this course the most!

So, tonight is the night!  I will be dipping my toe into the pond of group self help.  Taking my desire to be a better me out of the house and into the world of wellness.  Which I am hoping will help me be a better me coming back into my home and into my life.

I will keep you posted on this new journey as I work on the evolution of my reclusive self.

And if you have any suggestions as to workshops or groups you have joined that have been a positive influence on you, please share!  I am very interested in hearing what may have helped you.

(and because I know my self a little… I will keep buying books…so any suggestions… I am game to hear)

Thank you for reading 😊

Person